How do you make this work, world? I mean, forget the time constraints that a baby puts on you, how do you have the emotions to keep up the wife role?
I love my husband. More than almost anything in the world. Now, my baby is also the love of my life. (Yes, it’s possible to have two totally different types of loves of your life!) I still love my husband just as much, but taking care of our baby all day and night makes me feel like a 24/7 mother. Intimacy with my husband is hard for me right now. I’m always worried about the baby, even if she’s sleeping soundly or “playing” in her pack and play. It gives me anxiety to even spend a few minutes making out with my husband. “Is the baby alright?” is the only thing I can think of. I’m sure this will pass with time, but right now I can’t even remember what it’s like to be a sexy, loving wife.
…Not to mention that my body is totally out of whack. How could I even attempt to feel sexy, physically, when my stomach is all mushy and covered in stretch marks? Not to mention the giant, cottage cheese thighs, and the leakiness that continues to plague my nether regions. (When will I quit leaking pee? — Or, will I ever quit leaking pee??)
It’s only been eight weeks, and every day is getting easier and more normal. Well, my new normal anyway. We’ve been able to cook and eat dinner at the table together, spend a couple hours watching T.V. and chatting, and then wrap it all up around 8:00, when I head to bed with the little one. Even her sleep is getting a little better (a 3-3.5 hour block of sleep each night, usually followed by 3 or 2 hours, followed by another 1 — can’t complain about 6-7 hours of sleep!).
With time will come the ability to wear both of my hats again, but for now, the mommy hat will be my go-to hat. I hope my husband recognizes me when I start wearing my wife hat again….