I have found the touchiest subject on the internet, and it’s not religion. Surprise! It’s breastfeeding in public. Who knew?
My post about my personal preference to not bare-breastfeed in public went over well with some, and went over terribly with others. I was called ignorant, and accused of trying to “protect children from an important learning moment.” Okay, I’m sorry that my preference to not have a breast out in public is so offensive to everyone. I should have been clear and said that if you want to breastfeed in public without a cover that you should. Oh wait, I did that? Yikes… Okay, well, maybe I should have said that all I was asking was that you understand that some people (even breastfeeding mothers) are not always comfortable having/seeing a breast out in public, regardless of that breast being used to feed a baby. Oh wait, that was the entire point? Man, I really must suck at life.
I guess I was expecting a few comments like this… “Wow, that stinks that you are so uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public! It really does make things so much easier, but I can understand that not everyone wants to do that. I personally would not cover up if asked, but that is my personal preference.” Instead I got some of the rudest comments I’ve ever seen. (In case you go looking for them, I did not accept them. No negativity on my blog, thanks. It’s a mommy blog, people. Be nice! Not everyone mommies the same way you do.)
Why is everyone so angry about this? I wrote that so that other breastfeeding mothers who have anxiety about bare-breastfeeding in public wouldn’t feel alone. I wrote that so that people who ARE comfortable, would realize that not everyone on the planet wants to see you feed your baby in a restaurant, and it’s not because they hate you. I was not calling you a disgusting, ugly, horrid, vile monster, I was simply trying to explain why some people may ask you to cover up. It’s not a hatred of children, or breasts, or you, it’s because some people just do not feel comfortable. Honestly, I am a little jealous that you are okay with it, because I am not. My body would probably literally stop producing milk do to extreme anxiety. So, way to go! But being mad at me because I suggested that if a mother ask you to cover up so that she doesn’t have to explain to her children about breastfeeding at that particular moment, is ridiculous. Think about it from the point of view of a mother who is not okay with it. She isn’t a terrible person, she just has a different opinion than you do. And if you don’t want to cover up? Politely decline, stating your right to breastfeed in public. You don’t have to hop up on the table and scream that the woman is trying to take away your rights to feed your child (that seems like the approach some of you would have taken, based on the comments I received).
Here is my preference. I will keep my breasts under a cover in public, due to my extreme discomfort in having them out. And yes, I have a nursing bra, but it doesn’t have a neat little hole cut out so that only my nipple shows. The entire front of the bra comes down to expose the entire breast. I’m sorry I don’t have the other type of nursing bra that apparently covers your entire breast except your nipple. If I did, I still wouldn’t breastfeed in public, but I can see how that would be incredibly convenient for those who do. You all may be surprised to learn that I even where an udder cover at home when certain family members come to visit because it would make them so tense and uncomfortable if I were to have a bare breast out. Is it a pain to where a cover while breastfeeding? Yes! I understand why you wouldn’t want to! But please don’t be mean to me about my preference. I am not telling you to cover up, I am not calling you nasty, I am not trying to set public breastfeeding back 50 years, I am trying to explain that we don’t all want to show our breasts, and that not everyone wants to see yours. It’s nothing personal, and I don’t think I’m being a horrible person by trying to explain this, but I guess some of you think I am.
So, to sum up, breastfeed in public or don’t. Use a cover or don’t. Cover up when someone asks you or don’t. I think everyone should do whatever they want to do with regards to breastfeeding, so please don’t think I am trying to tell you what to do. I am not. Okay? Is this understood? Everyone feeling better now? Breathe… breathe…
From now on, I will keep my ignorant thoughts of parenting to myself and try to only post things that the majority of the world agrees on. Anyone have a list of approved topics and opinions that I could borrow? I must have lost mine…
Grumpy mom, out!