What A Difference A Day Makes

Today was the first day that Emmy has reached out and actually grasped something.  It was AMAZING!  Think about it… the FIRST time she ever intentionally reached out and grabbed on to something.  She will do this a billion times in life, and I got to see the first!  She has also started batting at her stuffed flower rattle.  It’s like she suddenly knows that it’s there.  She learns something new everyday!

Last night we had our best night of sleep so far!  4.5 – 2.5 – 1! Yes, that’s right, 8 hours!  I know that some babies are sleeping through the night at this point, but I am okay with this for now.  I woke up twice during the 4.5 round to check her breathing.  *Crazy mom or normal mom?*  I’m assuming it was from the trauma of the vaccinations yesterday, but who knows? Maybe it was the start of learning to sleep for longer periods of time?  We will see!

Oh, i meant to mention last night that when I hand expressed that ounce of milk, I put a nipple on it and handed it to my husband.  Well, it was a no go.  She likes the bottle nipple about as much as she like a pacifier, which is not at all.  She is nine weeks old though, and she’s never had a bottle before, so I wasn’t hopeful.  I’m just so glad my boobs are more than up for the task of providing all the milk she needs.  It’s also nice that I am okay with being a homebody.  I know a lot of women wouldn’t be okay with it, but I love it!

Well…. Miss Emmy is ready for bedtime… G’night!

We Have Poop!

We have poop, people!

Finally, after three days, we have poop!  I was beginning to think I was going crazy and that maybe she was pooping at night and I was just too tired to remember.  Apparently, it was a pretty nasty and big one.  Thanks, hubby!  

(The above section of this post is for Kathryn.  She said she wanted to know when our babies poop AND when they don’t.  This should satisfy both!  Hi!)

 

In other news, I just hand expressed an entire ounce out of one of my breasts! WHOA!  This was only possible because she will not feed off of this breast.  The reason?  She got the Tdap shot in her left leg, and it hurts her leg to nurse off of my right breast because it presses against that leg. Poor lady.  She got a dose of Tylenol and seems to be in better spirits, but she still won’t nurse off of that side.  I guess I will be bringing a bottle upstairs to squeeze in to for the rest of the night… you know, so my breast doesn’t explode and whatnot.

The doctors visit went well.  Two shots and an oral vaccine.  She didn’t mind the oral vaccine, but the shots were not her friend.  She cried for a few minutes and then fell asleep for 2.5 hours.  Then she fed for an hour (on one side) and then passed out for another two hours.  It was after this last go that she realized the pain was there and was not going away.  The screeching was so sad.  I’m glad she is able to have a little bit of Tylenol for these occasions.

It’s been a long day.  I am hoping she feels better tomorrow… both from her huge poop and the pain in her leg going away.  I do not like to see my little one sad!

Two Months

Today my baby girl is two months old!  Whoa!

She is turning in to such a little person, and she has grown SO much in just a month! Wow!

I will do a longer post sometime this week…. I have a fussy baby on my hands at the moment.  She hasn’t pooped in over 36 hours, and I think it is making her quite upset.  Just wait until tomorrow when she has to get 2-4 vaccines.  I am FREAKING out about those!  At our one month appointment she had to have one shot (the second Hepatitis B shot) and she was SO upset.  I can’t imagine 2-4 shots.  Someone tell me it’s not as bad as I’m thinking?

 

Here is a picture of my gorgeous little girl at two months old!

I Am Exhausted

Holy cow, guys.  This little lady has been going through her two month growth spurt and it has been hard on both of us.  I THINK she may be done now (it’s been slowly building up for the past three days and seems to have climaxed this afternoon) and I am so glad!  If I do not get some sleep soon, I may start hiring someone who is lactating to come over and take care of her and feed her while I sleep for a couple days.  (That’s a thing, right?)

Right now I am sitting in my chair, my faithful recliner, and watching my little one sleep.  I am so glad she is finally able to sleep hard.  She’s been so fidgety and waking easily over the past few days.  Last night we got a three hour span of sleep after a 6.5 hour cluster feed.  Luckily she gave me a couple 30 minute breaks in there for diaper changes and mommy peeing time.  She finally went down at 10pm, slept until 1:00am and then our night got terrible.

Along with only sleeping for 20-30 minutes at a time (and I’m pretty sure some of those times she was still awake and I just passed out) we also had a TICK in the bed!!  Yes, a tick!  I had woken up once to pick her up and felt something on the palm of my hand.  Felt like crud.  Thought it was probably just fuzz + baby drool that had solidified into some kind of crud on my hand.  I flicked it off onto the floor beside the bed and went about my cluster feed night.  Three hours later, during more feeding time, I felt a tickle on my elbow. (As a side note, I have been incredibly itchy ever since I was pregnant.  It’s getting better, but still pretty itchy.  So I thought it was just one of my itches.)  Since I had that particular hand holding a breast, I couldn’t really move it more than rubbing it on the pillow.  Seemed to help, until a couple minutes later.  Then I knew it was SOMETHING.  I naturally assumed a spider.  I pulled the boob out and reached over with my other hand and smacked at the creature, picked it off, and threw it down on the pillow.  I assumed I had killed whatever it was, but I was also concerned with the feel of what it was.  Spiders are squishy, people.  This was hard and flat…. just like the crud on my hand!

I grabbed my phone and looked at what was there.  Expecting a dead spider, I was quite shocked to see a very alive TICK.  (I am still so grossed/freaked out).  I woke my husband up, confirmed it was a tick, and let him handle the murdering and disposal.  I, on the other hand, jumped out of bed, put Emmy in her bassinet, ran to turn the lights on and began checking myself, the bed, the floor, the baby… everything.  I even checked out little dog, who I am assuming carried this disgusting passenger into our house.  She was clean.  I was traumatized.  My husband was tired.  He told me that ticks usually don’t travel in packs, which means “turn off the lights and go to sleep.”  I was NOT happy.  How could something so terrifying be something so nonchalant for him?  I guess he was just trying to calm me down, but it did not have that effect.  Even though the little one fell asleep during all the hub-bub (figures, right?)  I could not go back to sleep.  Turned out to be okay, since the little one woke up 20 minutes later, but still.

I’ve never experienced a tick problem before, so I know it isn’t something I should be constantly fearful about, but it was on the level of finding a black widow hanging in the window in the nursery or something, you know?

So, overacting mommy, or understandably concerned?

We have bug people coming out on Tuesday to de-bug our entire house – inside AND out!  I will now be adding tick control to our contract.  Ugh!

Mother AND Wife??

How do you make this work, world?  I mean, forget the time constraints that a baby puts on you, how do you have the emotions to keep up the wife role?

I love my husband.  More than almost anything in the world.  Now, my baby is also the love of my life.  (Yes, it’s possible to have two totally different types of loves of your life!)  I still love my husband just as much, but taking care of our baby all day and night makes me feel like a 24/7 mother.  Intimacy with my husband is hard for me right now.  I’m always worried about the baby, even if she’s sleeping soundly or “playing” in her pack and play.  It gives me anxiety to even spend a few minutes making out with my husband.  “Is the baby alright?”  is the only thing I can think of.  I’m sure this will pass with time, but right now I can’t even remember what it’s like to be a sexy, loving wife.

…Not to mention that my body is totally out of whack.  How could I even attempt to feel sexy, physically, when my stomach is all mushy and covered in stretch marks?  Not to mention the giant, cottage cheese thighs, and the leakiness that continues to plague my nether regions.  (When will I quit leaking pee? — Or, will I ever quit leaking pee??)

It’s only been eight weeks, and every day is getting easier and more normal.  Well, my new normal anyway.  We’ve been able to cook and eat dinner at the table together, spend a couple hours watching T.V. and chatting, and then wrap it all up around 8:00, when I head to bed with the little one.  Even her sleep is getting a little better (a 3-3.5 hour block of sleep each night, usually followed by 3 or 2 hours, followed by another 1 — can’t complain about 6-7 hours of sleep!).

With time will come the ability to wear both of my hats again, but for now, the mommy hat will be my go-to hat.  I hope my husband recognizes me when I start wearing my wife hat again….

Dog Fight

I sense a problem arising in our household.  I’ve known it was going to be a problem for years, but my husband is now realizing just how much of a problem it  actually is.

Seven years ago we adopted a dog from the shelter.  We named him Royal and quickly realized that he was gong to be a fixer upper.  He was underweight, had mange, had kennel cough, and was the most filthy thing I’ve ever seen.  We got him fixed up, cleaned, and finally had a healthy 15 lb mutt dog to share.  What we didn’t realize was that we had adopted a dog with a serious aggression problem.  His aggression was against any other dog, people who came into his space, and children.  Yes, children.

We spent time trying to get him used to being around children when we were in Charlotte with my family, but with no luck.  We ended up having to put him in his kennel in the kitchen while my niece and nephew were over.  Then eventually his anxiety got to be even worse and kennels were not an option.  We could no longer bring him with us when we traveled to see my family.  We gave up.  Nothing worked.  He even snapped at a kid in our apartment complex and, luckily, only got his shirt sleeve.  I made sure to never let him get near any child again.

When we found out I was expecting I got worried.  I knew that there was probably going to come a time when i’d have to bring up the subject of what to do with Royal.  I love him, but I knew that the love for my child would strongly outweigh my love for him.  I’m pretty sure that’s normal, but it sounds terrible to say that I can suddenly be okay with rehoming our dog that we’ve had for seven years.

I brought up the subject to my husband a couple weeks ago.  I told him that I would never be able to trust Royal around Emmy.  He is too unstable.  He never listens when you tell him something, and he never learns.  We’ve been trying to teach him to not jump on us for two years, and so far he STILL jumps on us.  My husband likes to point out that he will not jump on us if we hold a spray bottle in our hands (he hates getting sprayed with water), but I pointed out that I can’t run around the house with a spray bottle 24/7.  My husband just gives me sad eyes when I bring this up.  He says we shouldn’t think about having to give him up until we are sure he isn’t going to behave.  I KNOW that he isn’t going to behave.  I know that once she starts moving around it is going to freak him out and he WILL go for her.  I have no doubt in my mind.  A mothers instincts should be considered above all else, if you ask me, but I know my husband hurts to think about it.

Yesterday seemed to bring the biggest change in his thoughts.  We have a little dog named Juno who is a 5lb Morkie.  Royal tried to kill her three times within the first few months we had her.  He eventually got to a point where he ignored her, and then to a point where he tolerated her.  She likes to jump on his face and lick it clean.  I guess it’s her mothering instinct?  It’s cute to see and Royal has never had a problem with it, although he does give us a look that says “aw, come on guys! This is SO embarrassing!”  So yesterday Emmy and I were playing in her playroom (the dining room, gated off so Royal cannot get in because he also has a peeing on everything problem) and Royal and Juno were laying outside the gate, watching us.  Juno got up to clean his face, and Royal attacked her.  He chased her, growled at her, and bit her.

This is this first time he’s done this in four years.  He attacked her for doing something that she does EVERY day!  This really hit my husband hard.  He finally realized that Royal cannot be trusted.  If he attacks Juno for doing something she does every day, how could we ever trust him to be okay with Emmy running around, trying to pet him, throwing balls…. all things that he is unfamiliar with.  Simple answer, we can’t.  Something has to be done.

My husband looked so sad when he began to really realize this last night.  I feel bad that I don’t feel bad.  I am the mother and I will protect my baby.  The biggest problem is that we have no idea who would want to take a dog with behavioral issues towards children.  Maybe an older couple without grandchildren?  A young couple without children anywhere in the future?  *sigh*

I’m hoping this doesn’t become a huge problem in our household.  My husband still wants to wait until we absolutely HAVE to find a solution to our problem.  I want to start now, to make the transition easier and give us more time.  I don’t want Emmy to have to grow up playing behind a gate her entire life.  That isn’t fair to her.

Has anyone else had to rehome their dogs once their babies came along?  Any tips?

Rash

I’ve had a rash ever since giving birth.  Not sure if it was caused by the epidural, or if it’s just a hormonal thing.  I imagine if it were the epidural it wouldn’t have spent this past week creeping up from my back onto my shoulder… sneaky rash.  It is super bumpy (as a rash typically is) and itchy.  Let’s just say that it adds nothing to the non-existent feeling of sexy I’ve had going on lately.  I feel that I am nothing but a milk machine, and I am okay with that, but I don’t need to feel like a milk machine with an untouchable skin disease, that’s just no fair!

So I had the bright idea of trying coconut oil.  My neighbor pretty much suggests it for everything, from nipple soreness to peeling skin on her twins.  I have some that I purchased to make Emmy’s diaper rash cream, but I haven’t got around it it yet, and lucky she hasn’t had any need for any yet *knock on wood*.  I applied some of the coconut oil to a small spot on my back and went about the rest of my evening and then went to sleep.  This morning in the shower I reached back to see if there were any results (I can’t see it myself, I can only feel it), and to my great surprise, the rash is completely gone in that spot!  No bumps, no itching!

I LOVE natural remedies for things, especially now that I have a baby who relies on me for her only sustenance.  I don’t want anything in or on my body that may affect her.

So if any of you are experiencing an itchy rash, post-baby or not, I’d give this a try before any of the commercial remedies that may contain chemicals that will absorb into your skin.  And for those of you interested in the diaper rash cream I plan on making one day, the recipe I will be using is this one.  Be sure to use a liner if you use cloth diapers!  The Zinc Oxide acts as a water repellent, and we know you don’t want that on a cloth diaper!

Good luck, fellow hippies!  May your rashes never itch!

 

My Baby’s Clothes Are Shrinking!

…or maybe she’s getting bigger? Ah! My little baby girl is growing up, fast!

Two weeks ago, we were in an odd state between newborn and 3 month pajamas.  We only had one size newborn pajama that would fit, so we checked out what we had for 3 month.  We tried one set, and it was SO big.  The crotch went down to her knees, and the body swallowed her whole.  It looked like she was wrapped in a blanket, not snapped into pajamas.  Luckily, we had ONE set of 3 month pajamas that fit! Woo!  So I’ve been washing laundry every three days to make sure the pajamas were clean (I let her wear the same pajamas two nights in a row).

…Then last night, it happened.  Our only 3 month pajama set was accidentally forgotten in the wash.  Oopsy!  So I left the job of finding something for bedtime to my husband (we have a couple sleep sacks that fit, but I HATE sleep sacks… pains!).  I walked in to see how everything was going, and to my utter shock, she was wearing the pajama set that had tried to eat her just two weeks ago.  It fits PERFECTLY.  I mean, perfectly.  How has this happened in just two weeks?  How is she growing so quickly, yet looks exactly the same to me?  I even went through her pictures this morning to see if I could figure out when it happened.  I couldn’t.

The only conclusion?  Her clothes are shrinking!  Must be something with the weather change…

The Incredible Shrinking Pajamas!

Miss Personality

Babies are little blobs of squishy skin.  They just sit around all day, eating, pooping, and sleeping.  They have no personality.  Or so I thought…

Having my own baby has completely changed my mind on babies.  They are their own little person from day one.  Hour one. Minute one, even.  I can’t believe I’ve never been able to see it before.  All babies are not the same ball of squish.  They are not boring… unless they aren’t yours.

Do you think it’s possible that you can only see a baby’s personality this early if it’s your own?  I mean, I can just see what she’s thinking.  I can see her learning and growing and becoming more of a person every day.  I look at other babies and I see drooling, spitting up, crying, and squish.  Even when moms would tell me things like “oh, he thinks you are funny!” i’d say.. “yea, okay then.”  It’s true though!  You can tell when they like something, dislike something, or think something is funny.  This girl seriously “laughs” at me sometimes.  It’s with her eyes, and a quick little smile, but I know that if she had the ability to laugh this early, she’d be doing it.   She honestly thinks mommy is funny, and I can tell!

So, am I the only one who feels this way?  Even seeing babies now, while I have my own, I still see them as nothing but squishy blobs, and I see my own as some sort of advanced little person who is just aching to walk, talk, and laugh.  I will never roll my eyes at another mother who is telling me what her baby is thinking, because that’s exactly what I have started doing.  Who is rolling their eyes at me?!

Will I?

I have made the decision to force myself to start cloth diapers once my last two packs of disposables are done.  I will still keep a few disposables around for “I forgot to dry the laundry” times, which are quite frequent now that my washer and dryer are upstairs.  Who has time to go upstairs!?

I tried one on her this morning.  It’s certainly bulky on her little frame, but not bad enough to bother her.  Not sure how much she weighs, but she should be pushing the scales around 9lbs by now.  Of course all the snaps are on the smallest setting possible!  They are so adorable though!  I can’t wait until she’s pooping in style!  Environmentally and economically friendly style, that is!

How did everyone else transition to cloth?  Did you go in slowly, just dipping your toes in?  Or did you keep yourself from buying disposable to force yourself to have to use them?